Just a quick personal update!
I finally saw my new therapist
I met and talked to my new therapist yesterday, after not having one for a couple of years.
I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, especially after having prior bad experiences.
And in general, I don’t like talking to them much. Plus I felt little need to, considering that I already know and use so many coping skills myself.
But surprisingly, I may like her.
I think I may actually like her! It’s difficult to judge from just one session, but that is the feeling I have so far.
While she is professional, of course, I feel that she acts more as herself at times rather than following a boring routine the whole time.
She seems to have a sense of humor – much like I do. We smiled and laughed a lot, which is always good in general. And I felt comfortable and not as if I were suffering by being there.
I also reconsidered not only the need, but the desire for therapy.
It is good to talk to someone, as I’ve mentioned before.
And I think the fact that she works closely with my psychiatrist is a bonus, since they can figure out better what’s going on, bounce ideas off each other etc. – all while I spend less time with the psychiatrist directly.
She also promised me that she won’t force me to do anything. She’ll just make suggestions as needed.
I won’t have to do group therapy, which I hate with a passion – so that’s a good thing.
Some about the session
I’m not going into great detail here.
But at first, we talked about how I dislike(d) therapy in general, what to expect from her therapy, and how she was different than other therapists. Then we talked about why I’m there and got into some of my past — how my bipolar affects me and so on, which is normal for anyone to ask. She asked some things about my family, and questioned if the bipolar runs in my family – which to some degree, it does – my uncle was, and I believe some other family members may have been or are (less severely) but aren’t diagnosed.
After that, she talked to me about what I believe was the “biopsychosocial-spiritual model” which I found slightly interesting. I might be cover that in another post.
I also actually showed her my web site which you’re looking at now.
She asked if I was proud of it and I said I am because it’s one of the few things I was able to focus on enough to complete and keep going lately.
Then asked if I used the coping skills that I mentioned, which I have of course.
She mentioned what I wrote was good and that I’m very smart – which she was probably lying about to help my mood, but who knows! 😉 Nah, I know I have low self-esteem sometimes, and that plays a big part in how I perceive myself; we’re also going to work on that.
So in the end
The therapist seemed genuinely interested in helping me, we got along – as I mentioned – and she was easy to talk to, without feeling pressured or belittled.
I was pleased that it didn’t turn into one of my nightmare scenarios, and I look forward to going back. So I may actually stick with therapy this time, in addition to my medication. I have another appointment in 2 weeks.